Training: Fred Berry [Suspended]

[Jools Noctru]

Blue is my Game Master (GM) voice. Please consider everything said in blue to be Out-Of-Character (OOC).

Before we start training, I would like you to post your character background story. Go into as much detail as you like. This is very important, because every character in the Combine needs to know where they come from, and what type of person they are. Once you have posted your background, we will proceed with your training.

[Fred Berry]

Fred Berry, an Ithorian from the Ottega system, was an anti-social person who did not have a lot of friends. Fred has above average schooling, and first encounter the power of the force during this age of school, when he ran into a mysterious man. This man was using this magic to defend himself. When Fred Berry asked about this magic the man had only said, "The Force, Let it Guide you". Fred,being knowledgeable as he is, was curious as to the purpose of this statement. Fred at this point began reading up and studying information regarding the force, but remains clueless as to how it works, and what it really does.

Fred Believes that Knowledge is Power, and seeks to find all the facts before he makes his decisions, how ever that might as well be his ultimate downfall, because he will not fight unless he has to defend himself or something he strongly believes in. Fred's thirst for knowledge lead him to an ad for The Krath Dynasty, the statement that drove Fred to apply was simply that the Dynasty searched for facts for all sides of the force, eager he applied.

On 10.025 Fred passed all the tests and was accepted into the faction and began was waiting eagerly for his first assignment. A couple of weeks later the Dynasty assigned him to the marines, though he wanted to be a Diplomat, but he did his duties as directed. Fred learned a lot, and soon got a position to teach others what he had learned. Fred continued to move up the ranks in the Marines, and soon commanded them.

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This shade of blue is a good OOC choice, This is basically what my biography says that I posted here on the forums, this information can also be found on the SWC Holocron.

[Jools Noctru]

A decent post, save for a few punctuation and capitalization errors. Please make sure you write in the same tense consistently, preferably the past tense. It's also not very obvious what your character looks like, or what he is feeling during your description of his history. Describing emotion is what makes an RP interesting to read. It allows the reader to see into the character, where his supposed surroundings may or may not notice this.

Before we move on, can you elaborate a little bit on what Fred looks like, and how he feels about being a military officer despite his pacifistic attitude?

[Fred Berry]

Fred was a young Ithorian, and even after college he stood a good 1.67 meters, and weighed about 99 kilograms. Depending on your perception of colors, and the light of the great outdoors, Fred could be Tan or Brown, rather light brown, and although his quest for knowledge was what led him to the Krath Dynasty, he wanted to be a Diplomat so being placed into the marines surprised Fred a little, but he remained consistent in his duties, and drove the marines forward when he could.

Fred traveled a lot of places though he always returned to Shesharlie V to train his platoon of fighters. Fred would like to go home every now and then, but he knows his duties as a marine are more important now that he commands the entire Marine Force. Fred's organization and continued motivation helps drive the marines to complete missions, and allows for a cooperative and more open communication among the marines. Fred's Defensive behavior seems perfect with the marines because they protect Krath, and supports them in many areas.

Fred has always been busy, and always has something to do, or at least planned. He was disappointed to have a good marine leave, though he understood, but with all the potential the marines have, Fred does not see himself leaving until the job is done. Fred has a very optimistic and organized attitude, and that has helped him to further his personal goals, as well as move him through Krath ranks.

[Jools Noctru]

As discussed on IRC, we'll need to work a bit on your tenses. Using a spell-checker is the first step forward, at least. Take your time when posting. If you want to rush writing, it will show, and people reading your posts will definitely notice.

The training consists of a number of situations for you to react to. Unless otherwise stated, these situations do not follow on from one to the next. You will be told what are you are expected to focus on in which section.

In Description and Tone, you must focus entirely on the describing the scene set before you and establishing a tone to the area. Do not worry about combat just yet.

You have landed at the spaceport of a planet in the outer rim that reminds you vaguely of home. It is not too special but it has a lot of people, and for the most part they seem friendly enough. You can hear the sounds of an outdoor market from not too far away, and you notice a grouping of large tents off to the south. There is a sign next to the tents but you can't read it from here. You realize you are hungry as the smells of food reach you from the market and you can only conclude that there are the usual array of bars, restaurants and food vendors in the small town around the spaceport.

[Fred Berry]

Fred was relieved when he finally landed at port, the clearance time was excessive and there were several ships still waiting to land. Fred maneuvered around the vast passageways weaving in and around the continuously growing crowd. Fred Berry managed to get to a commons area that had several groups of eager sentients waiting to sell there rather odd items. Fred knew that being around so many races there were going to be some products that seemed disgusting to his nature, but were probably good.

"I find it interesting that so many people manage to get along in such a large gathering." Fred hadn't explored much outside the spaceport so he had no idea what was in store for him down the road. There must be some major event going on, because this seems to be an abundant group from different parts of the galaxy. He thought as he walked toward the outdoors.

Fred peered off to one side and saw what appeared to be a market, but they seemed rather busy right now. Fred glared to the other side and noticed several tents, which surprised Fred because there seemed no need for tents. Fred chose to head toward the tents, enjoying the weather along the way. It was sunny, though not to bright in his mind, perhaps a few clouds, but what interested Fred the most was the massive amount of ships still in flight, likely waiting to land.

Fred reached the tents, and saw the sign next to them, though he couldn't read it because it was some weird language he wasn't familiar with. It was probably late afternoon, and the sweet smells of food finally tempted Fred to turn around and follow them back toward the spaceport. After a few more minutes of travel, he branched off to a path leading to the rest of town.

Fred reached a tavern that didn't seem as busy as the other places that he walked by, Fred still liked to be alone. He positioned himself in a seat in a far corner and motioned for a serving droid. Fred ordered his usual Corellian Noale, and looked at his surroundings. The tavern had a relaxing atmosphere which small tables positioned perfectly to allow easy flow to the bar, yet left plenty of space for the droid to quickly get to any table. Fred could only conclude that the bar was the center piece with a direct shot from the entrance, and easy access from all corners of the small place.

[Jools Noctru]

It's always good to fully describe an area if you're the first one there - it lets other people see the same area you do and helps interaction. It's also an aid to roleplaying in that people can react better to different environments - characters used to fine restaurants can look down their noses at a seedy bar, and people used to the seedy bar might be a little intimidated and out of place in a fine restaurant.

Next will come Player Character (PC) interaction. You are to assume that the Trainers character is an old friend, and react to them accordingly. Remember that you can not control the actions of other PCs.

You are at the bar, ordering another drink when your old friend Skritt Zavv, an aging Geonosian, approaches you and attempts to slap you on the back.

"Hey, buddy, I didn't expect to see you here. How have you been?"

[Fred Berry]

Fred was drinking a Corellian Noale, and looking through his messages. Fred remains a busy man even when not at work, and is usually happy to work. Fred's focus is always on work, and the job at hand, and seems rather shocked when he looks up to see a Geonosian approach him. Fred didn't have too many friends, and only slightly remembered a young Geonosian in schooling years.

"Hey, buddy, I didn't expect to see you here. How have you been?"

Fred could only laugh at the voice, because after the voice spoke, he had no doubt who it was. There was only one Geonosian that he remembered took the initiative to be friends with him, despite his focus at the time for school.

"Hey Skritt Zavv, long time no see."

Fred was excited he could remember a name, and he could only hope it was the right one. As the Geonosian continued his way, he slapped Fred on the back. Fred motioned the serving droid back over.

"I'll have another Corellian Noale, What would you like Skritt?"

[Jools Noctru]

Fred was drinking a Corellian Noale, and looking through his messages. Fred remains a busy man even when not at work, and is usually happy to work. Fred's focus is always on work, and the job at hand, and seems rather shocked when he looks up to see a Geonosian approach him. Fred didn't have too many friends, and only slightly remembered a young Geonosian in schooling years.

Do you notice you still mix up the tenses? When writing your next post, focus on getting the tenses right.

Skritt noticed Fred blanked out for a second, but then seemed to remember him as Skritt took place besides the large Ithorian.

"Rodian Ale", Skritt clicked to the serving droid.

"What brings you to this part of the Outer Rim, Fred?" Skritt asked, leaning one elbow on the table. "Are you on a Marines mission?"

[Fred Berry]

Fred watched as the droid went to gather the drinks as requested.

"I thought I would just tour around, while i picked up a few ships."

Fred had thought for a moment, and had become confused, the last time he saw skritt was during school when he was not part of the Dynasty.

"How did you know I was a Marine?"