Page 1 of 1

Training: Sybil Kassar

Posted: October 23rd, 2012, 5:30 am
by Calgor Grim
Ok let's get this training started. This stuff in blue is when I act as a GM and should be considered as Out Of Character.

We'll start with the basics, I'd like a character introduction, so go into a bit about your character, their past, ambitions anything really. Explain the character Sybil Kassar to me and paint a picture of who we're dealing with.

Re: Training: Sybil Kassar

Posted: October 23rd, 2012, 9:05 am
by Sybil Kassar
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

Infinite stars serves as the backdrop for the main title. War drums echo through the heavens as a rollup slowly crawls into the infinity of space.

Star Wars

The Prison System

The prison system, inherently unjust and inhumane.
Is the ultimate expression of injustice and inhumanity in the society at large.
Those of us on the outside do not like to think of wardens and guards as our surrogates, yet they are.
And, they are intimately locked in a deadly embrace with their human captives behind prison walls.
By extension, so are we.
The terrible double meaning is thus imparted to the original question of human ethics.
"Am I my brother's keeper?"


The huge jungle planet of Dathomir emerges from a total eclipse. A pink YV-666 emerges from hyperspace and heads down to the planet's surface. It cruises fast above the jungles trees and the Imperial Prison is seen in the distance. The prison alarm system whails in the night's air. The YV-666 lands on the landing platform.

Inside the prison, Imperial Stormtroopers rush out the barracks and 2 AT-ST's make their way to the landing platform. The Stormtroopers raise their E-11 blaster rifles to the entrance hatch of the ship. The AT-ST's get in a combat position ready to shoot the intruding ship. Then the area becomes deafly silent waiting for the inevitable. The breathing from the Stormtroopers in heard in the cold of the night. The E-11's carefully aimed at the ship's entrance.

The ship's door opens and a scream unlike any other is heard. Stormtroopers startled and a lady wearing black leather armor jumps out in a summersault. A pink lightsaber is ignited cutting down the Stormtroopers numbers. The unidentified lady jumps to one of the AT-ST's and drops 3 thermal detonators causing a loud explosion, causing the AT-ST to drop to the ground. The pink lightsaber is thrown chopping down 6 Imperial Stormtroopers which were in the path of the deadly weapon. Doing a triple summersault high in the night's sky, the lady drops down onto the last AT-ST. With reflex speed she pulls the driver and gunner out throwing them far down onto the ground, their bones are heard crunching on the jungle's floor.

"l am... the Law!"
"Drop... your weapons!"
"This prison is under the control of The Warden!"
"This is your final warning!"

The loud voice comes from the PA system of the AT-ST. And, the menancing guns of the AT-ST are pointed at the stunned and shocked Imperial Stormtroopers. The Warden collects the rifles and throws all the Imperials into the prison cells. She pulls out her datapad and does a head count and how many are dead. "Lovely day no one escaped" she smiled to herself. She hops on one of the Imperial Scout's speederbikes and rides off into the dark jungle.

The dark unidentifed lady reaches her destination. It is a very primative camp. It's mud patched buildings made out of wood and mud. She feels comfortable here a place she calls home.

She walks toward you. You start seeing her glowing menacing red eyes, her lovely light pink skin, and long curly dark purple hair. "Oh hello" as if talking to someone.

"You are probably wondering who I am? Well people know me as The Warden." she giggles.

"Yes!!! For all those perverts, I love running women prisons and making the female prisoners as lesbian sex slaves." she giggles harder.

"I am a Zeltron, but I need to come to my home where Nightsisters raised me." sighs remembering the good times on Dathomir.

"I always wanted to take control of the Imperial Prison here on Dathomir, the Nightsisters will run it well in my abstence. Not even The Emperor would try to retake control." smiles happily.

"Oh yes... the lightsaber, I am a Jedi and the Empire calls me Darth Bitch... Well because I am a bitch and Imperial Stromtroopers are my bitches. They take a lightsaber well up their ass and people wonder why I say it is the Dark Side." laughs insanely.

"To me there is no Light, no Dark it is how you use your powers which makes the Jedi." smirking.

"But, you have Light Jedi which are so pompous asses; it is like they have a lightsaber stuck in their ass... preaching Light Side is the only way, the good way. The Hell with that... there is no 'good' or 'evil' it is your actions that define you. Ummm... You people have dirty minds. Sticking a lightsaber up an Imperial Stormtroopers ass is not evil, it is good.. ummm they become pussified sissies only wanting to get buttfucked in Buttfuck Prison. Hmmmm good name for this Imperial Prison which I captured. Imperial Buttfuck Prison 69." laughs hysterically.

"Well now you know much about me, time to engage the lesbian sex ritual with my sisters and sorry no cameras allowed." The Warden shuts the camera off.

Re: Training: Sybil Kassar

Posted: October 23rd, 2012, 12:42 pm
by Calgor Grim
Mind toning the language down a tad? I don't have a personal objection however since some of these RP training sessions are public I'd be cautious on some of the themes. While it's a colourful explanation of what sort of thing you do the purpose of the exercise is obviously to explain about yourself and your personality. It doesn't really explain a bit about yourself too much. Fussy but I have a series of criteria I need to check against. Also I've got to raise the note about colour use and that. Try and keep it to a bare minimum.

As said I have some guidelines to follow for training...

Re: Training: Sybil Kassar

Posted: October 23rd, 2012, 1:12 pm
by Sybil Kassar
No problem the language was for the purpose to know how I think about our enemies, especially what happens in a prison. It needed the colorful language because I could not describe it without and does explain my character a lot. I am usually never thoroughly open about myself and tend to stick in the shadows. Which is why I kept to what I do to a bare minimum. The color use was for the opening like in Star Wars. I figured it would be a nice entrance to explain who I was and what I was doing on Dathomir. Since I never did get in the history of me and the Nightsisters and I want to keep it in the shadows.

Re: Training: Sybil Kassar

Posted: October 24th, 2012, 5:37 am
by Calgor Grim
Thats a bit better. Ok we're going to go into a settings and actions type training. I'm going to put you in a scenario and I just want you to engage in some actions. No combat at this point, just wanting you to paint a picture of what you see, the sights...smells etc.

Your setting for this is to imagine you're on a new planet. It's a quite busy world as you have just left the spaceport. Temperate terrain, slightly cool. You obviously need to come up with why you're there. Basically do a little bit of exploring and then we'll move onto NPC combat.

Re: Training: Sybil Kassar

Posted: October 24th, 2012, 8:14 am
by Sybil Kassar
"Coronet been a lifetime since I set foot on this planet. Imperials and Rebels shooting at Corsec in front of the spaceport. Everyone off in the field west of the spaceport killing Meatlumps. Imperial Star Destroyers hovering in the air. I miss this place and there are all the crafters just 500 meters in front of the spaceport grinding their asses off. I loved grind fest." The Warden states while walking out of the spaceport looking at the beauty of Coronet, the concrete buildings which reach high into the sky. The Warden walks out onto the concrete streets which are made wide and stretches for miles. The streets has lots of people around with their droids advertising their store which is over 3000 meters from the city. "Oh and there are the medics giving out their buffs at 10,000 [cr]." You see 5 medics sitting or kneeling on the hard concrete street; each one having a line of over 30 people, each one patiently waiting for their buff.

The Warden hears a lot of blaster fire. "Stupid Jedi going to be on the Bounty Hunter Terminal soon since they are now visible." The Warden says with glee, watching the Jedi run around the area in front of the spaceport and watch innocent bystanders called crafters get killed off. Imperials and Rebels firing everything they have at the Jedi, until... the Jedi is mysteriously frozen. The Jedi screams out "LAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!" And, an Imperial Stormtrooper does a headshot, killing the mind and the Jedi which lagged out... dies.

When you smell the air you can smell death in the area, the smell is so nauseous you wonder why it is not a Vrelt feeding ground. Multiple people die in this area, then you hear a grenade go off and a poor Imperial Master Doctor gets killed while buffing a Rebel for 10,000 [cr]. The Warden walks east to the bazzar and see Rebels killing off Corsec and Imperials killing Corsec. It seems everyone hates Corsec. "Lovely place this Coronet... Everyone is in the loving spirit." The Warden lifts her head up and laughs. The Warden walks to the Bazzar Terminal which looks like a black jukebox with red markings. The Warden then looks into deeds and looks for a speederbike. The Warden after endless scrolling finally finds and buys a speederbike for 20,000 [cr]. The Warden opens the deed to the speederbike which she bought and the speederbike pops up in front of The Warden with the engine humming. "Well it is time to head to the Cantina" smiling at the camera.

The Warden walks into the Cantina and sees bodies of dead Rebel and Imperial troops with near naked dancers dancing on top of them. The Cantina smells like Rancor poodoo, which should be quite obvious with all the Rancors in the Cantina with their Creature Handlers. You can literally smell death and sex in the Cantina, the smell is so bad the air is almost near unbreathable. The Warden scans the Cantina with close to 250 patrons, then finally sees her target. A slavegirl wearing a metal bikini and a skirt which shows off her slender legs. The slavegirl's hair is long and blonde with light blue eyes and tanned skin, the dancer looks more like a prostitute. The Warden approaches her and with lightning reflexes puts a slave collar on her. "Hawt169me, you are under arrest for prostitution and scamming newbie credits." The Warden giggles knowing she will have a worn out smexy butt... when she is incarcenated... in one of the Hellholes which The Warden calls "Prison". The Warden starts pushing Hawt169me out of the Cantina and to the spaceport.

This is dedicated to all those who loved and played SWG before George Lucas screwed us over. George Lucas created the abomination called NGE and killed off the best game where many Combiners used for their PvP and space combat. I will forever miss this great game which was created and a place where fans have met and expressed their love of the Star Wars Universe.

Re: Training: Sybil Kassar

Posted: October 25th, 2012, 1:40 pm
by Calgor Grim
No. Essentially theres a massive amount of OOC references in here. This is an in character session and you refer to concepts such as "Lag", "newbie credits" or that prostitute that is essentially not even using a legitimate name. That's not IC since IC there is no concept of lag when you kill someone or a concept of a newbie for you to nick money off. I can't work out if this is a camera following you recording this or whether this is you recalling this event...some of the actions seem disjointed.

I would also advise looking at using text styles a bit better to signify different types of text.

"I believe the use of bold text is a common practice" pondered Calgor. "I have seen many a person make use of it on this forum to denote when a character says something".

"Alternatively though, I have to admit some people use italics for that as well, or more commonly for anything said which is more a note to self, said in your mind which is used to reveal ones thoughts"

Text colouration is obviously limited to only extreme measures however font styles like bold and italics are useful to signify key actions.

I would like you to rethink this please. You can keep the original one if you like but I do suggest a rewrite. Again, keep the combat actions to a minimum, this will be in the next step. All I would like is for you to set the scene. Describe the area a little more if you can, this is about description. So if you're in a place like that, describe to me perhaps about the smell if theres so much death. I imagine if it's a little bit rough that you will get a bit of a poor air. Mention if you want, potential dark alleyways and grimy paths as people shuffle through them, giving any reader the sense that this place is full of bad odors, omens and unpleasantness.

Re: Training: Sybil Kassar

Posted: October 25th, 2012, 2:38 pm
by Sybil Kassar
Actually Calgor that was IC, it came from SWG. And Hawt169me was a SWG Character who was a player-prostitute which scammed newbies. But, the player-character was not me. There are some players which cross-net with other SW games. And, a camera does follow me around. I keep tendancy to not show it since it derails from the story. And, I was the Stormtrooper which headshot the Jedi in SWG, I could not resist adding a tibit of SWG history into it. You never played SWG?

Re: Training: Sybil Kassar

Posted: October 25th, 2012, 3:07 pm
by Calgor Grim
As discussed in IRC, give it a redo. Thx